One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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