margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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