So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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