dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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