Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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