doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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