a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
