Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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