i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
