On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
