The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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