Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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