I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We had sex on a dog bed..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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