return my video game
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
