i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
