It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
