winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
