Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize