She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
