Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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