He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize