An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
