I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
