Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
