VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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