It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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