I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
