I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I need a beard to bite.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize