I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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