i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize