I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
