He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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