Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
