I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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