I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
