i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
