Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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