you traded sex for a burrito?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
