the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My dick has a subreddit
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
