Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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