this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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