She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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