Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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