I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
