I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
