When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize