I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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