I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
