I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
