idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
