Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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