the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
