Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
