Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
