What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
