just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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