I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
