Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
