Yo dont text me then not text me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have aggressive nipples.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
