Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
