i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
