Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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