i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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