batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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