my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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