i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
