Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
