He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
