i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Randomize
