dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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