I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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