she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
