my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
