I want to stick my p in your. b.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
