Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
