The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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