Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
