some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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