last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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