puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize